


Blank Spaces

by Kunfetti



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Rates M for mentions of abuse, is this hurt/comfort?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 10:37:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19271530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunfetti/pseuds/Kunfetti
Summary: Keith learns something new about James he never knew.





	Blank Spaces

**Author's Note:**

> What’s that meme? *this fic can hold so much self projection?*
> 
> Special thanks to Silverine and BirdsandIvory for always reassuring me my fics aren’t trash. I love you guys <3

Keith whispers one last goodbye to his father as he stands, the sound of dead leaves crunching under his boots with each step that takes him closer to James. 

 

He’s a distance away, staring hard with clenched fists at a set of gravestones. Keith pauses, frowning. The scene is drab and James looks as if he were in a black and white photo, with the overcast skies and thinning fog dancing along the ground. It’s James’ first time here since the end of the war. He came to meet Keith’s dad, but his own demons pulled him away not long after. 

 

He resolves to push further; he did promise to stand by James through heaven and hell and Keith isn’t the type to break promises. 

 

Making sure to drag his feet the last couple of steps so James hears him, he takes a hardened fist in his own, feather soft and gentle. His fingers play with the cuffs of his suit, because of course James insisted on dressing up. Then, he waits. 

 

James never talks of his parents, and Keith wasn’t around when they passed. He always assumed they had a good relationship, but the heated rage in James’ eye as he burns hole into his father's gravestone tells a different story. 

 

“I always wanted to make him proud,” He says, finally acknowledging his presence, returning Keith’s tender hold and squeezing his hand; feels the stiffness in unraveling fingers, “He would say to me, ‘ _ If you’re not first, you’re last.’ _ ”

 

The wind blows, the frigid morning air biting at his cheeks. A few leaves are brought to life, swirling at their feet with the current but they quickly die until the wind moves them again. Still, Keith’s patient. 

 

“Everything I did, my grades and my sim scores,” James scoffs, a disbelieving shake of his head, “Even my promotion was never good enough for him. He always wanted more out of me. ‘ _ James, you’re not working hard enough,’  _ or ‘ _ Is this the best you can do?’ _ ”

 

He releases a shaky breath, squeezing Keith’s hand harder as silent unbidden hot tears roll down his cheeks from unblinking eyes. Keith leans into James, offering the only thing he can give; his undying support. 

 

“‘ _ I won’t tolerate weakness boy, _ ’ he’d say,” Keith swallows a lump in his throat as James’ voice takes on a hard edge. Years of repressed anger and rage unfurling with each confessed painful memory, “ _ ‘You’ve got to be number one!” _ ”

 

James is shaking with the effort, but he collects himself with a sniffle as he blinks back tears towards the sky. He wraps an arm around him, and is relieved when James leans into him. 

 

Keith never knew. Never knew what drove James to stretch so far for the things in front of him. Why James worked harder than anyone, and then worked some more. It makes sense now, the way James’ anger would flare at his younger self for sabotaging the sim scores or why he would snap at the other cadets for not carrying their own weight. 

 

He was always playing a losing battle.

 

“My mother was kind,” He says after a while, and when Keith peeks up at his face James wears a small smile that’s not hindered by his red nose or tear stained cheeks, “but she was passive. Sometimes I wonder if she agreed with my father, or was too scared to refute him,” Keith takes his pause to bring James’ knuckles to his lips, a reassuring pressure that hopefully affirms his faith in James, “But even after everything, I still love them.”

 

“It’s okay to love them,” He says as he tries to catch James’ eye, cupping his cheek to get his attention, “and it’s okay to hate them.”

 

There is a shadow of the boy James used to be reflected in his eyes, Keith notices, and he knows what James says next isn’t meant to offend, but a bitter admission towards healing. 

 

“I’m not sure what’s worse,” His voice hard and low, “Not having parents or not being good enough for them.”

 

“I think we are better than what we got.” He reassures because he believes, he _ has _ to, “You’re an amazing father, and all that matters is Isabelle never knows the pain we felt.”

 

“Daddy, daddy!” 

 

The somber mood is broken by the sweetest sound to Keith’s ears. James quickly wipes his face on his sleeve, hiding any sign of sadness with a bright smile he saves solely for their daughter and leans down to scoop her up. 

 

“Bells! Did you have fun?” 

 

“Yes!” The toddler squeals before pouting, “Flowers?”

 

“Isabelle wants to put flowers on your father's grave.” A familiar and comforting voice clarifies. 

 

Krolia’s warm touch settles on his shoulder, a gentle smile on her face that lights up her eyes. Keith watches the same affection he shares with his mother reflected in James and Isabelle as she squishes her fathers cheeks with her hands, and Keith isn’t sure his chest can contain anymore love. 

 

“Sure, lets go.”

 

James looks to him then, peeking around Isabelle’s hands and he looks lighter, freer, even with blotchy cheeks and red rimmed eyes. Keith takes his outstretched hand, the one that wears his promise to Keith. The other holds their whole world, and he can’t help but lean in and kiss his daughter. She giggles and despite their shared pain of the past, Keith knows himself and James can give Isabelle her best life and heal in the process. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> James and Keith’s daughter is completely inspired by an art piece done by @tricodekuarts on tumblr whom I thought named her Bella? Idk, I just wanted James to call her Bells.


End file.
